What’s been stopping me lately…

It’s Wednesday and today I check in via email with my creativity coach, Jill Badonsky. Just give her a sense of what movement or non movement I am making in the direction of what we talked about last week.

What Jill and I talked about last week is that people are asking about purchasing my art work. Specifically two of my friends by the name of Megan, one of whom just moved into a new apartment and would love a piece to decorate her place, and my friend and acupuncturist Stacy who has a birthday coming up and would like to see what’s available for a gift to herself, and my dentist – Dr. Thomas Blake – who is redecorating his office. These are only recent requests!

If you are in anyway a proponent for my success you will cringe and perhaps shudder when you hear my of late standard reply;

“ummmm…..cool. Ok, well, my website is not up to date – I’m re-doing it, I don’t have an organized inventory of what’s available, I don’t have a display venue, uhhhh…I don’t have any brochures….” That’s the outer voice.

The inner voice, which until lately was whispering so quietly I couldn’t hear it, was saying;

“I’m scared. I’m scared to make sales. I’m afraid to show my work to others.”

I was not really aware of how deep these inner feelings ran until I mentioned to Jill that the simple display portfolio I had created for the grant proposal I had just written might be a really easy way to showcase my work to people who are asking.

When I say simple, I mean a Word Document with a few images .jpg of my paintings dropped into it. Really that simple.

I also realized something huge about how I have been handling this little inner voice of fear. I had not been handling it. I have succumbed to the creative killer called: PERFECTIONISM!!!

Holy shit, I never realized how much I use perfectionism to stop myself moving forward in my creative projects and in the business of bringing my art into the world and selling it.

Straight out of the * KMZ Coaching Manual, here I am described:

Negative feelings, thoughts, and beliefs that may be associated with perfectionism:

• Fear of failure
• Fear of making mistakes
• Fear of disapproval
• All-none-thinking
• Overemphasis on “shoulds”
• Believing that other are easily successful.

After reading this, I went into minor ego-gets-obliterated shock.

“Oh-my-God that’s me”

No wonder all my work is sitting in my back storage area of my studio. No wonder I don’t have a brochure that’s let alone a “good enough” never mind a really nice one. No wonder there are about 10 completed paintings in my studio I have not had photographed because I was waiting to make them a little more perfect. No wonder I am what feels like eternally (note the all-or -nothing thinking) paused in the creation process of the new website. No wonder I have not made any art sales in a while! It’s all starting to make sense.

So…my commitment to myself, to you, to Jill is to put together a not so perfect inelegant “brochure” of all the beautiful and vivacious work that has been hiding in my studio for much too long and cannot wait to be hanging on your wall by next Wednesday May 7th.

(Setting manageable obtainable deadlines also tends to kill perfectionism – cause oh shitttt I gotta get it done!!!!)

If you’d like to see my new work, please email me your full name and Email with “pls send new work brochure” To deb@debchaney.com.


*KMZ Kaizen Muse Coaching Program founded by Jill Badonsky, re-printed -------with -ummmm----permission? From Jill?------

New Work - Messy is Life Series

What are we all so fucking afraid of?

Messy is Life Series

© Deb Chaney 2008

Mixed media, acrylics on unmounted canvas 9" x 12" unframed

This painting was created with the intention to support health and vitality.
$125 USDMasterCard/Visa acceptedPh.(805) 403-9870 deb@debchaney.com

Creative Procrastination

Today's intention was to edit the grant application I'm working on. I knew I had to do a little something, in particular because today is my coaching check in day. Whereby I email my coach what I've done since last week.

So what had I done? Not much. In an effort to report some progress, I made a few edits then I sidesteped away from the computer into my studio and made this piece of art on my current art career FOCUS, as discussed in my blog about being In Creative Process.

Anyways, sometimes its fun to procrastinate and make art about what I was "supposed" to be doing. Here's to enjoying the moment, making art, and relishing not doing what I set out to.

"We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned,

so as to have the life that is waiting for us. "

- Joseph Campbell

In Creative Process

Currently I am receiving creative coaching from Jill Badonsky, creative coach and founder of the kaizen muse creativity coaching program. My intentions are five fold to receive support during the creation process of the following;

1. Editing/revising my 2008 fine art marketing plan
2. Reading and applying ‘Attracting Perfect Customers’ to the marketing plan
3. Inventory of all my art work
4. Pricing the different bodies of work
5. Creating a new website
   

What I am learning in this process is that creating anything is an organic process that evolves on its own time and, really has very little to do with ‘me’. ‘Me’ being the ego. The ‘me’ wants to schedule, force, create on demand, finish it by the deadline and have it all done – yesterday – and perfectly, of course.

The concept of "having it all done" is an illusion with anything we are creating. Everything is evolving, changing, growing at it’s own pace. Nothing is permanent. All this creations are projections and illusions of myself and where I am at now.

I’m realizing that I need to step back and let this creative force work through ‘me’. That my job here is to be present, set my intentions, and come from a place of love and trust in the process of being with my dreams as they manifest. This isn’t about ‘me’ doing, more about ‘me’ letting the doing happen. Watching, observing, and participating with awareness and love.

Something we talk about in creative process are side trips that we sometimes make when we’ve set out to do one thing, and end up doing another. The list above is in, what I had decided was priority order. I’d discussed this with Jill and we’d decided I’d finish up the revision of my marketing plan first. Enter side trip number one.

Turns out the information that I’d gathered and researched to write the marketing plan fits perfectly into a grant application I’d had filed away and was interested in applying to. Now finishing that grant application has become the #1 of 6 items we’re working on in this coaching.

I remain in creative process and learning to let go and trust the flow of things.

Artist Statement

After taking Alyson Stanfield's 'Promote your Art' online class and purchasing her book The Relatively Pain-Free Artist Statement , I have been working on my artist statement. It's been a work in progress for several months now and I thought I'd share with you the current up to date version.

Here are the main points I used to keep me focused while I put it together. Truthfully I didn't just sit down and write it all at once. I kept notes in my journal over time and it came together piece by piece over the months. Anyways, here are the basics:

Notes on writing an Artist statement

1. It's about you current direction of art work
2. Written in first person, I…
3. Helps define a body of work.
4. Explains your painting style and subjects or themes.
5. Tells a bit about your approach or philosophy

April 2008 Deb Chaney - Artist Statement

I create large contemporary abstract paintings rich in texture with many layers which may include mixed media, acrylics, liquid metals, iridescent powders, earth elements such as sand, and paper collage. Using the ancient principles of Feng Shui, each painting is created with the intention to contribute balance and vitality to your living spaces and may be used to enhance a specific area of your life.

My creative process involves listening to the piece in progress and allowing it to guide me to its next step. Sometimes I am adding layer upon layer and removing parts of each layer. I have no exact plan as to what the finished piece will become. I let each layer guide me and trust the finished image will emerge. I paint with large sky flow brushes, palette knives, sea sponges, sturdy workshop rags, and even my fingers and sleeves. In mid process I have often thought I would eat the paint if that was what the painting required. The process of creating paintings challenges, invigorates and inspires me. Often what motivates me to jump out of bed in the morning is a thought as to I what next layer I need to add – or take away - on a piece I am currently working on. I practice daily, relish the process, and am grateful to live and work in passion.

Messy is Life Series - new work

untitled
Messy is Life Series© Deb Chaney 2008
Mixed media, acrylics on unmounted canvas 9" x 12" unframed
This painting was created with the intention to support health and vitality.

$125 USDMasterCard/Visa acceptedPh.
(805) 403-9870 deb@debchaney.com